Shall skip everything about school because school was as normal. Just that yesterday finally we are having Sport & Wellness lesson. 5 lap of running. Luckily last few week i just went for jogging only. So, my leg isn't that cramp. After jogging, went to played Volleyball with classmates. Everyone was like anyhow. It was so fun that i am always looking forwards to the lesson!
At night, went to Newton circus to have dinner with ah B concert band member. It was my second time seeing them. 1 word to describe: FUN! Everyone was so joker type. How i wish i got a group mate also and will randomly meet out for dinner or stuff. Well, they had planned for next outing.. Can't wait for it!! It is 2 weeks away from now only! (: Oh yeah, after dinner we went to Gerard house to slack and we catch a movie at 12:20AM at Yishun Gv, movie name: The call. Was freezing in the cinema because i didn't bring my jacket along with me. Damn it!And home after that.
Tonight, gonna to stay up for mid-night study already. Monday is CA and yet i am not yet prepared because it is all about theory and i really dislike that. But still, die die also must study today!
Sometimes i really thinking of something that is out of point. But for no ideas, it just come to my mind. Well, i got to be strong girl and be more positive. But sometimes, i am really very tired to be myself. How i wish i can go to a place where no one knows me. For no reason, i really don't know why i am always feeling the losing feeling after all those thing happened. I am so scare that it will happen again and again. I am so tired of the feeling seriously. Though now everything is going fine but there is something that is always bothering my mind.
Since this is my blog, i shall just go straight without any hesitating whether i should post anot. Everyday, i am thinking about the same old thing. Are you really comfortable with me? Am i giving you a lot of trouble? Do you really see the changes? Did you really turn back to the same old you? Do your still text? Did you lie to me about anything? I am really really very troubled and stress because all this always come to my mind. I am really very tired. Who will be there to comfort me and ask me not to be afraid? I am so scare of being pushed away already.
I didn't mention those thing doesn't mean that i had already forgotten about it. I guess this thing will always flow in my mind. Sometimes i really feel that i am really really very stupid. Other people can control the love but to me, i can't. Because i am deeply in love.
I shouldn't say the word insecure now because i told you i want you to be happy and free. Thats why i don't really control so much now. Because controlling can't help us to get better. Though we don't really see each other daily now, i really hope you still miss me. Remembering how we always used to study until late now. But now, i guess you can't even study when there is me. I seem to be the one who is not motivating you...... That's so saddening..... Sigh.
I hope there is still me in your heart. ):
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