Different

No one will know what will happen next second. Is either you treasure it or you let go and let the other person heartache and leaving pain to the person.

This is the longest relationship i had so fast. Yes, you say your saying will never changed. But this is what i got in the end. I really can't believe that you are not even sad at all! It is not easy to overcome those pain. Be frankly, i still cannot forget. But, what can i do? I got no more energy for anything at all now. It is too pain and i realize that i really cannot take it.

During this period, i do break down and cried at a corner where no one is. Because i don't want anyone to know. Or perhaps people will get very surprise by this thing. Although sometimes i cheated my own feeling telling other people that i am fine but actually i am not. I asked people to look at positive side. But to me, i can't. Because it is too pain, too pain for me to take it.

A lot of people told me that i will gain something when i lose something. But what did i gain? Is it the pain that i am suppose to gain? I can't forget how much i have been given in and how much effort i have put in. But why can't you see and feel?

Loving a person is easy but forgetting is always difficult. But can you feel what i am feeling now?

I know i am very very positive now sometime to cover my sadness. But how long can i do? I guess one day i will break down totally.

Everything is just so hard for me now. Because i have to hide everything that is happening now and trying my best to forget all these pain. I am just a normal person and not a person that can take everything.

I am very different from other people... You can say that i really need you a lot. Because i trusted forever. But now, NO!


Well, today went to sao mu. I thought i can forget everything. But no, was in the lorry and they drove pass all the places that we had been before. And that also means that, MEMORIES! Yes, all the memories that made me emo in the end and giving a fake smile.

I realized i am very fake now.. I don't feel that i am myself now. I feel that i am just a ball now. Being kicking here and there. When can this exactly come to an end?






I just wanna find a place to hide myself, hide my feeling, hide my tears...



Just happened to saw something. Hmm, I get it what is relationship.. Relationship dont have to be with the person for 24/7. Although, sometimes i really hope to have a guy that will be with me for 24/7. I was wrong in that thinking. This is the biggest mistake that i had ever made. In relationship, what i needed is the trust and time. But to me now, i dont know what is happening. :/