Sunday

What is Sunday?

I remembering always telling you that Sunday is our day when we will be together, our family day. I really wish that it came true. How i wish everything is just a test now or it is me who is dreaming of everything now and i can't wake from the dream.

Today is the 21th April. It is just 4 more days. So, I really don't know the plan.
Actually, I had planned to go Hotel to had dinner there. But now, I really don't know. From a very big plan, i had changed to a much more smaller plan. Which is just a simple meal and movie. And this is the thing that i never tell you. Because i am afraid of being rejected on this day! Just like what had happened last year.

I am stubborn, that's why i am still holding on so tight. I never choose Give up! Because give up is not in my dictionary. I know it is very hard for me when i choose not to give up. But what can i do? I only can do my best and fight for it!

From the day we together until now, it is not a short period of time. That's why i won't let our effort be flash away by the drain. NO! Seriously, i hope that you will hold on with me now. I really hope you will.

I know time is always stopping us from things. But who say have relationship cannot do other thing also? Time is what we needed to find our own. I don't need all your time now but i only need some of your time. Just like in the past, we still can do whatever thing we want to do. I had learnt my lesson of having you everytime and that's make you feel like i am not giving you your freedom. So now, just a short time will do.

I just simply miss you. I wished that everyday was yesterday because i need a shoulder and a hand to make me warm. Why is everything so difficult.

Well now, i can see how i am like in the past from you because you are me now! If i can do it, WHY CAN'T YOU?
You will never know if you never try!

I got a super big challenge now whether i should do what i did on 26 Feb. I wonder if it will turn back good or will it be worse. It is really a BIG BET for me if i am going to take the challenge. I really dont know if i should do that. PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME!


Edited.
I really got no idea why. I am so in the no mood now and so freaking sad. I know I shouldn't look forward to this coming Thursday. Why must I keep lying to myself? To you, I guess it is totally nothing now. But to me, it has! I had been putting too much effort that no one can see at all. I feel that I am so useless.

Being a human to me is such a failure thing in this world. At this moment, I just feel like doing something I should not do.